man of the world

on my last day in the philippines, more than wanting to stay longer, i felt missing life in jakarta. kakatawa di ba? after looking forward to the christmas holiday and spending it really well, it came to a point na hinanap-hanap ko rin ang buhay ko away from my country. eto rin yung central topic sa usapan namin ng expat friend ko based naman in shanghai na umuwi rin sa pinas for the holidays. we realized that there’s this weird feeling that the philippines is your country, but the country where you are now staying in is your home. well, siguro it’s just a temporary feeling – probably driven by our desire to further our ambitions and adventures, but at the end of the day, it’s what keeps us holding on to the new life we’re leading.

i arrived at my flat last 03 january and one of the first few things i did (aside from emptying my luggage filled with dried mangoes, otap, chicharon and lambanog as pasalubongs for my local friends) was to accomplish my life planning template. thanks to my ex-boss back in 2005, she introduced me this template that summarizes the things that you have to thank god for, for the year that passed, and the new dreams that you want achieved for the new year. it’s not the crappy or cliché new year’s resolution list, but more like an objectives list that you revisit every so often to inspire you to wake up every morning. after reviewing the files from 2005 to 2008, sobrang na-realize ko how blessed i really am.

after minutes of re-assessing myself, i came up with my mantra for 2009, i.e. to be a “man of the world”. in a nutshell, it’s succeeding in a borderless world and living life to the fullest in a more holistic context – seeing and experiencing the beauty and happiness that this big world can offer while growing and touching other people’s lives along the way. another good thing that all those self-help books influenced me on is not thinking of limitations – it may sound unrealistic, but it’s the thinking na walang pangarap na di pedeng di maabot, lahat ng gusto mo e makukuha mo – no buts, no ifs! mas lalo akong napaniwala dito dahil 2008 turned out to be an excellent year for me – sobrang daming nangyari na dapat kong ipagpasalamat! this further inspired me to broaden my horizons in 2009. so life this year will look something like this:

ang sarap ng pakiramdam na ramdam mo yung paglago mo bilang tao sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay. siguro, ito na yung sinasabi ni abraham maslow sa kanyang “hierarchy of needs” na self-actualization. if i were to die tomorrow, it’s good to know na i’m on my way towards achieving the final stage that i won’t be embarrassed to face my creator, believing that i gave my best to make the life that he allowed me to borrow so worthy to live.

of being so-damn-young, irritatingly-positive and undeniably-persuasive-salesman

i’ve always been used to being the youngest in the job – several years back, my first job allowed me to experience how to be in the middle of a company’s transition – from traditional salesmen to a new-breed of young (20ish), talented and hungry achievers, determined to carve their names in the corporate world. years after, i found myself in the company of seasoned brand marketing professionals – the pressure was terribly high, but with pure commitment to learn and excel, i managed to be the youngest brand manager. without timing-out on the climb, i found my name with a marketing manager designation, which i initially thought was impossible before reaching the age thirty. modesty aside, i may have experienced to soar as a high-flyer (as my previous colleague put it). hence, being in the company of oldies and seasoned professionals should not be an issue anymore given that for eight long years, my story evolved in the said theme.

yet, fast forward to my situation now, i still feel the discomfort when people around me say “oh my gosh, you’re only 28 and you’re a client service director already? how can that be?!” or “you are so damn young, how did you grow up that fast?!”. the thing is, these questions also reflect how they will probably assess my credibility, making it more challenging on my part as i have a lot of proving to do. i need to show their watchful eyes that i can effectively supervise, inspire and lead two account directors in their mid- and late-thirties and six account managers and executives that are much nearer my age. just a thought that i’ve long thought of before – why do we have to have a numerical age based on the date when we were born? why can’t our age be based on the level of our real maturity as individuals or on the wisdom that’s stored in our minds that we put to action? fortunately, i’ve never been discriminated against because of my age, but to make the ride much more convenient, it would have been probably much better if my ideal thought of age determination is actually what’s practiced in our world today. lesson learned, i no longer divulge my age – if we are generally proud accomplishing a lot at a young age, i realized that it may also work against us, making the task harder since it’s another layer that we have to address. if people eventually find out, then it would not be my problem anymore – they can talk about it day-in and day-out, but for as long as i do my thing effectively and efficiently, i shouldn’t give a shit.

another dilemma is my “irritatingly positive” mindset and disposition. a couple of people here told me that i’m being so nice and it may not necessarily be good. honestly, i haven’t been like this ever since. i was once a cunning, stubborn, bitchy, rude and heartless worker. but then, after maturing and learning to become a better person, i embraced the healthier side of life especially when it comes to my job and the people around it. i want to be respected because people believe in me and not because they live in fear. i want to be a leader based on how i can inspire, motivate and make people trust themselves more and not based on how good i can give directions or delegate deliverables. the last two statements may sound so idealistic again, but i think in this crazy world where are we now, where everything is based on realism (which usually is interpreted negatively), it is actually what we need – a sense of idealism to make certain differences that are meant to create positive dents. so, despite the irritation, annoyance and quivering sensation that i may cause other people – i’ll continue being “uniquely positive” as i know that i’m setting a new standard – a new standard that can possibly break the “irritating” status quo.

currently, i’m 50% done with malcolm gladwell’s “the tipping point”. as it seems relevant to this post, i just came to realize that out of the three personalities he mentioned in “the law of the few” – connectors, mavens and salesmen, i belong to the third category (for a deeper understanding where i’m coming from, it may be a good idea for you to look into the said book – it’s a good read anyway). with this, despite the “youthfulness” and “too-good-to-be-true positivism”, as a persuasive salesman, hating me will be much harder. this is my ace in the game i’m playing – which at the end of it, will have no losers, everyone will be victors – as life isn’t a competition, but more of a synergy and collaboration.

better said than done? well, not for me… sorry if you can’t deal with it.